In this podcast, we will hear from Joe White and how he has built a successful teaching and coaching career in high school based on building and maintaining relationships with other educators and kids. Joe will discuss how he has taken the OCL course and how he uses the skills with the projects he is currently working on.
AI-generated dictation of the podcast audio
Please note that this transcription was completed using AI software. Occasionally, unanticipated grammatical, syntax, homophones, and other interpretive errors are inadvertently transcribed by the software. Please excuse any errors that have escaped final proofreading.
Adam Salgat 0:01
When did date night become just another night in front of the TV? When did date night become answering Jeopardy questions but not answering each other’s questions. When did date night just stop happening? Whether you’ve been married for 60 years, or have just started your relationship, connecting can be difficult. But don’t worry, you’re not alone in this even if people may not talk about it openly. Let us teach you techniques that can bring you and your partner closer together. Our date night series is designed to help partners understand each other’s communication behaviors. Teach couples to connect meaningfully learn to listen connect and build appreciation within the relationship. We know that schedules can be hard to coordinate so we are offering this series at two different times, Wednesdays beginning March 3, continuing March 10 17th and 24th at 8pm and Saturdays beginning March 6 13th 20th and 27th at 10am. If you’re looking for a special gift to give this Valentine’s Day, why not give the gift of deeper connection and understanding the price per couple for the whole series is $50. And this will cover the cost of the disc report for two people. We only have space for 25 couples so claim your spot early. For more information visit our community lessons.org Welcome to the our community lessons podcast where we strengthen relationships and build stronger communities through listening leadership, care and service to create truly human connection. Learn and partner with us as we imagine a society in which people care about each other first, explore more, our community listens.org.
Hello, and welcome to the our community lessons podcast. My name is Adam Salgat. And with me today is Mike this Baris from Midland, Texas. Mike, how you doing today?
Unknown Speaker 2:19
I’m doing fantastic. How are you today?
Adam Salgat 2:22
I’m pretty excited today because you’ve introduced me to someone that I’ve been chatting with we’ve been chatting with for about a half hour and I tell you what I’m I’m really excited to hear more stories and hear more about the inspiration that he that he lends to these kids to many other people that he’s been working with. So our guest today is Joe White. He’s the owner of coach Joe White 97 Consulting. Mike, before we invite Joe in here, I want to hear you give me a little bit of an intro on who Joe White is why he means so much to you.
Speaker 2 2:57
Absolutely. So I’ve been really excited about getting this podcast scheduled, and having Coach White Come on, and given us some insight on his experiences of going through the communication skills training. And he was also one of the very first people to go through the virtual experience that we’ve had. But here’s what’s really cool about Coach Joe White. So he has a huge successful background in Colorado, as a baseball coach and as a football coach and as a teacher, but he is also my former teacher in high school and coach. And someone I also was able to coach under for a period of time. So when I had the honor of having him in our CST class and facilitating him, it’s kind of like this. Adam, are you ready? The mentee became the mentor. Yes, really excited to share that experience with him. Because he’s such a good guy. And he has meant so much to me through life and our experiences. And I’m just glad we still have connection of many, many years later. So without further ado, I’d say we let’s bring Joe on.
Speaker 3 4:07
Thanks for having me. It’s you and you are right. You became my You are my mentor now trying to do what I’m doing, which is kind of crazy how that’s flipped over 30 years. Got to coach you 30 years ago. And that was a special time for sure.
Speaker 2 4:22
Yeah, absolutely. So Joe, we’re so excited to have you. I’ve been talking you up to Adam for a long time because he’s a huge sports fan. Absolutely huge baseball fan. Let’s start off with just some like basic questions in tell us about like your experience in your career in education as a teacher and a coach, but why you chose that road, and how it’s kind of shaped you to shape kids lives?
Speaker 3 4:47
Yeah, that’s a great question. When I first started, after I got done playing baseball, I worked for a big food company called Beatrice on Wesson. And I spent about nine on driving 36,000 Miles 220 different grocery stores and calling on these grocery stores seven about seven grocery stores a day and doing my store checks and all that. And I just felt like I wasn’t doing anything for anybody. And I was really kind of lost really where I was in life and didn’t really have a purpose at that point in terms of my career, or what I wanted to do for people, and they actually offered me a promotion and a raise. And I answered them by saying, Here’s your car keys back to my company car. And I’ve decided I’m gonna go back to school because I had a marketing degree, and I’m gonna go back and get my teaching license. And, and that’s what I did. And I had to work at UPS at night loading trailers and doing all that stuff to work myself through that. But it was the best decision I ever made the first education class I ever took, I knew that that was going to be my passion, because I had a chance to have an impact on people. And that’s what I really enjoyed doing. And that’s what I really enjoy about the education world is every single day, you have an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life. And what you know, not every job can say that I think every job could do that. But I don’t think people look at it that way.
Speaker 2 6:12
That’s such a great introduction and kind of understanding how you got your start in education in coaching. What would you say your favorite thing is coaching, teaching connection with kids. And I know that you’re retired now that you still do a lot of work and you still even coach at the high school that you retired from. But what would you say your favorite thing is on working with kids,
Speaker 3 6:35
just again, it’s that opportunity to make a difference in their lives to try to see them go out and do great things in our world. I always said this with, you know, in terms of our, our baseball program, we deemed our success by where our kids were 510 1520 years after they played for us. Were they successful in that community, were they successful husbands and fathers and in business people in lawyers and doctors and whatever they else became, and knowing that maybe we had a small part of that when they played for our program, or they were in my class or whatever it might be that we might have had a small part of their success. And what they’re doing now, in the success of our program was how much of a connection we still had with those people 510 1520 years from when they played for us or when I went to have them in class or whatever it might be. So it’s just that opportunity to inspire and help influence people in the right way.
Speaker 2 7:32
And I think that was always one of the biggest things. For me, it was the inspiration. It wasn’t just on the baseball field, I remember you had come to all my wrestling matches, or you’d see us at our football games or, you know, in the hall and having conversations and it was always about you know, Jeff to work tonight. Oh, you’re working at Domino’s sweet bring me a pizza, but are you the best pizza as possible. And it was always just that inspiration drive that you had that kind of lit the fire inside kids to do more than maybe they normally would. And I
Speaker 3 8:05
Yeah, and I agree with that. I think that’s what it’s about, right? I mean, it’s about trying to get people to be better than the what they even thought they could be. I call it the light bulb moment as an educator and and it’s any kind of leader, business leader, educational leader, athletic leader, whatever it is, is we’re always trying to get that light bulb to come on, we want that light bulb to say, oh, I can do this. And I can even do better than what I thought I could do. And we can get more into that a little bit later. But that’s, that’s again, I just love that opportunity. I’ll be driving home, I’d be driving to school in the morning. And just be thinking about different kids and how I can help them and how I can help them get over humps and, and do all these different things that maybe will will inspire them to be better than what they thought they could be. And that was so exciting for me.
Speaker 2 8:51
You know, Adam, one of the big things we hear in education is like this term lifelong learner. And some people use it and say it, because it’s kind of like the popular thing, say, Oh, I’m a lifelong learner. And I’m always learning how to improve and get better. And Coach White has always kind of lived that motto before ever became kind of a popular term. Right? And I know it because even today like he’ll email me like did you read this article? Have you read about this person? Have you seen this blog? Here’s a cool podcast. Have you seen this book? And it’s constantly always trying to get better. And when Coach came into our class, the communication skills class a second, okay, what could he possibly learn from this that he doesn’t already live? So I’m going to ask both of you, Adam. Sure. I know you’ve been in the class and you’ve been surrounded by a lot of the material at times. But what was your favorite skill that you learned in class and then coach I’m going to ask you the same thing and see how we can kind of all tie our thoughts together on that.
Adam Salgat 9:56
I’ll jump in here first Joe? Mine was cyl Since because I was so used to just replying back or giving my opinion or giving a solution or just jumping in and acting as though I knew what they needed to hear, right, but there are times when maybe my wife, and she’s the best example in my life of needing to just let there be silence because she needs to share whatever’s on her mind. If it’s something that’s frustrating, or something that she needs to figure out, she doesn’t need me to give my opinion and solution. She doesn’t need that every time. She just she does it. And we’ve talked about it. And I tried to take a moment and step away from it. So one of the biggest things for me, when I, when I left, the class was learning to be quiet. You know, I started a podcast because I like to talk. So learning to be quiet is a pretty big skill for me. So taking the time to do that was important.
Speaker 2 11:00
I love how you tie that to your wife in the relationship and the importance of that, right. Like that’s a really cool piece. So Joe, what is yours? What is one of the skills you’ve taught or your that you just, I know we learn a lot. But what is one of the favorable learned,
Speaker 3 11:15
I’ll be honest, it’s kind of along the same lines. Because as a as an educator, as a teacher and a coach, one of the reasons you do it is because you love to help people you love to help kids, you like to help solve problems, you like to do those things. And there was so many times when I really self reflected during the class, how many times where I would, I wanted to jump in and solve problems for, for people, instead of just listening to people, what people really want you to do is listen, I’ve learned that lot with my own kids. Instead of jumping in and trying to solve the problem right away, just listen, just let them talk, let him vent, let them do what they need to do. And that is really, really kind of opened my eyes that you don’t always have to be the problem solver. You can just be the person that is listening to the problem, and let people solve it kind of themselves. And that’s what we always want is people to have ownership right to be accountable. And when Pete When you empower them by listening to them, and intently listening to them, and showing them that you care when you listen to them. It helps empowers them to be able to help solve their own problems, it gives them some tools to think it through as they’re talking to you. So it taught me to use the two holes on the side of my head more than the one hole in the front of my head.
Speaker 2 12:43
Yeah, I agree with that. I will say my favorite skill that I’ve learned is not silence, I’m still learning it to be a whole lot better at it. Now it’s hard. I learned really quick that oftentimes I was thinking about what to say, rather than actually listening in that silence part. Yeah, to really figure out what the other person was trying to tell me. So that’s still a huge work in progress. For me. I think if I had to tighten, my favorite one that attracted me immediately was probably just empathy in the real difference between empathy and sympathy and what human connection really as having a background in special education and behavior. I think that’s kind of what just touched my heart and saying, oh, yeah, I kind of get that. Like, before we do anything. It’s really about relationships and connection first,
Speaker 3 13:31
no doubt. Tell us what is the difference between empathy and sympathy? Because I 100% agree, I think empathy is the strongest word in the English language. And I wish we had more of it in our country.
Speaker 2 13:41
You know, that’s a that’s such a good question. And such a thought. And I think there’s kind of the answer that we have learned in class and what we see. And then there’s also kind of our own personal reflections of the difference between empathy and sympathy. So I’ll give you my own personal reflection. I think empathy is someone doing the very best they can to just try to understand where that other individual is at in their life, not that they have had the same experiences, not that they will ever have the same experiences, but just try to sit inside their heart in their feelings and all that area. into me sympathy is like someone trying to tell them it’s gonna be okay. Tell them a story about a similar experience that they had, but not sit in the feelings where that person was at. And I don’t think people ever mean it intentionally or mean. I think it’s just how people are used to using it to think it’s the right thing to do. You know, when my dad was dying of cancer, people would tell me stories about their family members dying of cancer or whatever, rather than just to sit and I don’t think any of them met ill intent they wanted to call they want to check in on me I think like growing empathy and people and having people really understand the difference is a huge thing that we can do in society today with all the stuff that’s been going on, you know, with COVID. And everything else, it’s a big part of where, where we just need to focus and be at,
Speaker 3 15:17
I think you hit the nail on the head, and I look at it like this, I drive to the grocery store the other day, there’s a guy standing there with his wife and two kids with holding a sign saying, you know, I need money, I have family here, and I don’t have a job and blah, blah, blah. And I look at it, sympathy would be a drive by on his arm, and I feel bad for that guy. And I keep going, and I go get my groceries, and I come back, and I drive by him again. So that just stinks, guys. But empathy makes me act. Right? So when I put myself in that in that guy’s shoes, and I say, what if that was me, with my family standing there, you know, and all sudden, I’m into his shoes. Right? Now all of a sudden, when I drive back by him, after I go to the store, I roll my window down, and I hand him some food, or I hand him some money to help him out. So I think empathy makes you act sympathy makes you think, and I look at it like, empathy. This is what the class described it as empathy is, is feeling with people, you’re with them, you’re in their shoes. So when people when your father was passing from cancer, empathy would say, they must be going through a hard time, I’m going to bring a dinner to them. It makes them act on it, instead of sitting there saying, Well, my dad went through the same thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, again, there’s that trying to fix it that that find a solution? Try to make it better thing. But empathy just makes you act. Does that makes any sense?
Speaker 2 16:45
I think it makes a lot of sense. Adam, I’m interested to hear your take on that. Because we’ve had so many conversations around empathy with multiple folks I’ve never heard of, and as the you know, acting, and I really liked that it’s simple and easy to learn. But there’s a lot of truth to it. What are your thoughts, Adam?
Adam Salgat 17:05
I agree, I really liked that breakdown. And I had never really thought about it in that way to be honest, that look, Joe’s here teaching us he’s either he’s a teacher, this guy tell you, you have such a good point, because and Mike, in your case, when people were talking about it and sharing their stories, I think of that kind of people do those things, because it just feels like the thing to do, like you say it, you share it, it’s almost like it’s become part of our natural reaction. You know, like, oh, my gosh, you wouldn’t believe what we had to go through. And so you know what I mean? So it’s not like they’re trying to one up. It’s just that they don’t know what else to say. And sometimes, like we already talked about silence is the way to go. But in that silence when you put yourself in their shoes, and you get to that empathy state, like you said, Joe, gives you the opportunity to act. And I think you’re right, I think it makes a makes a lot of sense. Yeah,
Speaker 2 17:58
for sure. So here’s the big question. I want us all think about Adams got little ones at home. Joe, you got older ones, a teenager, I got two teenage girls, right. So not just like outside kids that we work with, but our own kids to the skills that we learned in class, sometimes with people who are closest to us in our life are more difficult to do than in the outside. Would you all agree with that? Yeah, absolutely. What is in your most vulnerable state? Your most difficult skill to try to practice at a daily life inside your households. That’s a tough one. And I’m asking everyone to be vulnerable. So it all starts if you want me to,
Speaker 3 18:44
I can start okay. For me, it’s listening. For me, it’s it’s breaking it down to where the people in my family just need me to listen, not fix. And they need they need a sounding board. They need somebody that they can trust. They need somebody that they can rely on, to just listen and be actively listening. And then when they need the advice. They’re going to ask me for the advice does that makes sense? So instead of me throwing my advice out all the time, which I do because I’m an educator, and I’m a fixer want to be a fixer and I can’t stand when people are feeling bad. It does something to me inside when someone’s feeling low, you know, I want to fix it right away. For me, it’s like waiting for them to ask for the advice instead of giving the advice. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 19:38
Yep. So mine has been the Arabian communication model where we have to think about our body language or tone in our words when emotions tied to it. And so when I see one of my daughters upset, like not going to that level upset but trying to relax myself to be present for them, or not raise my tone Yeah, yeah. What about you, Adam?
Adam Salgat 20:03
Yeah, so I’m sitting here thinking about it, I have younger ones. So oftentimes, it’s, I feel like I’m in a constant teaching mode with them. You know, because you’re trying to right now our two year old. First thing she wants to do is hit her sister when she doesn’t get the toy, right. So I feel like we’re constantly correcting and the idea of like, Please don’t hit your sister. And, but really, I think it’s one of the reflective listening skills. And one of the little tips that often is handed out is clearing the whiteboard of our mind. Because with being as busy as we are, most of us with work or life, just taking care of the kids managing the house, all of it, right. So when I get the opportunity to spend time with just them, let’s say we’ll go down to the basement to play it, clearing that whiteboard, and also putting the phone away. So I actually spend quality time that actually pay attention to what they’re saying, I give an understanding that what they’re playing with is important, whatever toy whatever doll, handing me fake ice cream, all this other stuff. It For Me, it’s the opportunity to slow down and really try to focus on clearing clearing my mind, so I can be with them. 100% Because it’s so easy. They’re so young, that you can kind of get away with little things that they don’t point out to you too much. You know, they don’t say hey, you’re not actually listening to me, they just move on to something else. So I tried to recognize that now. So hopefully, by the time they are older, there’ll be a lot less instances of them feeling like they’re not being heard. So
Speaker 2 21:47
yeah, well, that’s a big part of the connection, because they’ll have the memories of like, oh, remember when we used to eat much ice cream? Like, they’ll remember that you might not, but they’ll bring those things up. And you’ll be like, Oh, I was probably present for them. Right? It’s really kind of an interesting thing. Jonah, kind of ask you this. But Adam, I’m gonna come back to you, too. So Adams wife is a special education teacher in my special education background, I bring up her quite a bit or ask Adam to kind of fill in, because it’s such a needed area right now. And although we’re not going to focus on their special ed, we’re going to focus on teachers. So in education as a whole, when you think about everything, the pandemic’s done virtual learning, not virtual learning, in school, out of school, it’s hopped all over the nation in different places. What skill if you could give one skill that you’ve learned? What would that be for teachers and coaches alike? If you could just somehow embed that into every teacher? And coach? What skill? Would you give them?
Speaker 3 22:55
The honest truth is, I don’t know if it’s so much a skill or if it’s just a mindset. It’s a mindset of always remembering what your purpose is. What is what is your purpose for being a teacher. And it doesn’t matter if you’re teaching online, or if you’re teaching in the classroom, you still have a purpose in the reason that you got into education was to help and serve others. So when we when we lose sight, I call it the noise. So when the noise hits us, so COVID is hit. It’s the noise, whenever the noise hits is when we lose our purpose, right? And because all this other stuff is getting in the way. And all of a sudden, we’re more worried about Well, I gotta teach online, I got to do this assignment online. Are we going to go back next week? If we go back? How am I going to structure my class, if we go back, and some of the kids are at home, and some of them all the things that we can’t really control, but we can control our purpose, a purpose of why we teach. And it happened to me about 10 years ago, when our county voted in a school board, that was really anti public education, if you can believe that. And it was really hard. We lost so many good teachers that just bolted from our district because they just couldn’t work for these people. I call it they were, they were into data education instead of people education. And I think it’s people, people education, first over data education. And we lost a lot of teachers. It was it was it was a bad time. And I was in a bad place. And finally I just said to myself, I’m going to go in I’m going to shut my door and I’m gonna remember my purpose. And when I went once, once I switched shifted my mindset back to my purpose. Then I was happy again, because I’m in my classroom with my kids realize why I’m here. And looking at their face. It’s not their fault that that schoolwork got voted in and it’s destroying our district. It’s not the kids fault right now that COVID hit and they have to be at home. Teachers want gonna be in the classroom just as much as the kids do. But there’s things that you can’t control. But you can control. Okay, you can control what your purpose is, and remembering and staying with your purpose and why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Speaker 2 25:12
So Adam, I’m gonna hop in next, because mine’s very, very closely related to coaches, I feel like in the class, when we repeat the class motto over and over, and we really talked about it, I’ve tried to just incorporate that into my life in thinking about those times when, as Joe explained, when the noise hits, or there’s the issues of there’s the problems, because that’s really what we need it most, right? And it’s, I’m the message. And just thinking about my reaction to when the noise hits, or when two situations are occurring, is dramatically affecting those in the span of my care, whether it’s people on OCL, whether it’s educators I’m working with, whether it’s my own kids, whether it’s kids I work with outside, whatever can pass capacity is just like being that message. And it’s okay, if they know that I’m struggling or hurting or like all the feelings that go with it, but trying to just be there for people as well, as well as to be there for myself. interested, I’m interested to know your thoughts, like if you with what your wife has to bring home and talk about and all the work she does. What would you give teachers? Adam?
Adam Salgat 26:27
You know, that’s a good question. I’m not sure what I would give them other than what Joe kind of mentioned the idea of like, knowing your purpose, and then what that does in my mind, or what I kind of interpreted as it re instills confidence, it kind of brings you back to this idea of like, this is why I am doing what I’m doing. And I am good at that. And I want to continue to do that. And I think that my wife, on occasion will struggle in that space, because it’s hard sometimes to see growth, especially in special education. So I think just that reminder of you are good at what you do. You are strong, you you will push through this, whatever comes ahead. You’ve been through it already. You know, she’s 13 years in so not much he hasn’t seen there’s always these little things. But you know, so I think the idea of just giving them that confidence, or like Joe said, reiterating, what is your purpose? And why are you why are you doing this?
Speaker 2 27:26
Love it? I so I think we’re having a really good discussion. And I’ve been thinking about these questions, and how to kind of ask this. I knew Joe a long time ago, I was a sophomore in high school when he came to our school. And Joe graduated the same year as my sister they were classmates, even though is a very, very large school. So here’s what I’m going to ask. If you could take a skill that you’ve learned in class, and go back to that time in high school. Which one would you take? You only get one. But which one would you take with you to develop? How you would work? How it can continue to help you grow, let’s say? So I’ll let you think about that for a moment. A skill that we learned in class. Yeah, so a skill you learn in class or strategy or maybe even like one of the concepts. But if you had the ability to go back to 10th, grade, Joe White, 10th grade and 10th grade, Mike, what one would you give yourself that you would have to be able to use through those high school years, those college years, all those things that you kind of grew with knowing that you thought you knew everything, when you’re? It’s a tough question when you really think about it. But here’s the reason why I bring that up. When I work with teachers, I always try to get them into the realm of where are their kids at? Right. So it’s not like preaching at them. It’s trying to understand where they’re at in that moment. What what did it feel like when you were there? And it’s very different for kids today than it was when we’re in school, right. But we still know what those feelings are, that we’re constantly competing with, you know, our inner thoughts with am I wearing the right clothes? And do I belong to the right click? Do I have the right car? Do I have, you know, is my hairstyle the right way? Like all those things that kind of come into play? are even more so on those minds. So what skill do you think you’d give yourself you given you get one?
Adam Salgat 29:31
I would say that mine would be confrontation? Because 10th grade years specifically for me, like there was you know, you’re in 10th grade and you were just kind of running through these ideas of like, what’s important to them at the time. At that time, I there was a girl I liked, who ended up liking somebody else. What that ended up doing for me, was actually really beneficial was because it helped me break out of my shell when she didn’t, you know, like me back and that way, it broke me out of my shell. And honestly, like that is what made a big difference moving forward in my high school years and honestly has made a big difference in my life, not just that one, like singular moment or relationship, there’s been a lot of things that built on them, but the power of confrontation, or the the ability to effectively share what’s what is troubling you with someone, I think that would be a great skill to have as a young adult. So I may not have used it in that situation exactly. But I know I would have used it early college years, dealing with friends dealing with cliques dealing with relationships, it would have been much better to have the ability to form our feelings around what’s actually affecting us, as opposed to just saying You’re pissing me off. You know what I mean? Like, or I’m sad, and I’m just gonna go silent, you know, kind of thing, it would have been the ability to confront people with a constructed with with some type of constructed form. I can’t think of it out there. But the ability to confront them would be, I think, pretty important for young adult and young adult Adam.
Speaker 2 31:23
Adam, I that would be a wonderful skill for all kids to have. And I agree with you, I think that would be a perfect one to take back into time thinking about a lot of the times I didn’t confront Well, or avoided confrontation. Yeah, avoided. Yeah, for sure. I think what mine would be, would really be able to take that idea of the personal recognition state, right. So the feelings, the behavior and the impact, but using it for the positive, and finding ways like with friends, teammates, classmates, to interject those more, because I don’t think I knew how to support each other really well, unless it was like a big thing. So I cried gratulate, you if you did something good on the sports team, you know, or maybe you got a good grade, but sometimes it’s the littlest things that kids need the most supportive, and we’re not always good building that up as a kid. And so I think like that would have been a really cool tool to have. Back when I was a sophomore in high school.
Adam Salgat 32:31
Joe, what about you, anything come to mind?
Speaker 3 32:34
Can I use when I was a sophomore in high school was sports. Yeah. Okay. It’s your tool for me being a better teammate. When I played sports growing up, I was so intense, and so competitive that I was always I wasn’t always the best teammate. So and I’m, I’m an anti conflict person by every stretch of the word, anti conflict person. But when I was playing, when I stepped between the white lines, it was a lot different for me, I kind of became a different person and wasn’t always a greatest teammate to my, to my buddies out there playing if someone make an error or something, I would stare them, stare him down, or an umpire made a bad call, I was just thinking about that this morning. I remember the some part I had in when I was in high school, he’s a great umpire, but I, I know, I rubbed him the wrong way. And I still feel bad about it today. So learning how to be a better teammate to be able to lift my teammates up, instead of probably bringing him down a lot, because of how I reacted to certain negative things that would happen. I wasn’t always great at it, figuring those things out at that age.
Adam Salgat 33:47
As a coach, I have a question for you. Each kid is gonna get motivated with different communication styles. So you may change your communication, Scott style, multiple times a day, depending on which kid you’re talking to, and, and what it is that they’re, they’re going through now. I mean, that’s the same as if they were in the classroom, I suppose. You know, certain kids respond to rewards differently than they respond to, I don’t know, you know, a negative, like, you’re gonna lose this as opposed to you’re gonna get this you know, some kids respond differently. What’s it? What’s it like being a coach and knowing that you could change your communication style within minutes, just depending on who you’re talking to? And how difficult can that be? I don’t
Speaker 3 34:31
think it’s difficult if you are in tune with who you are and who they are. Gotcha. Right. You need to you need to understand who your players are, and your kids in your class are. You need to get to know them my first day of class, where most teachers would go into their first day of class and they would do the here’s the syllabus, here’s our class rules. Here’s this and this and this. My first day of class was I didn’t do any of that. My first day of class was I had every kid one by one, stand up, tell us They are, where they’re from places they’ve lived. One One interesting fact about them in those things, so each kid did that. And a lot of kids sometimes, you know, they were a little shy getting up there, and I would help them through it then, right? So I would ask the question to him, but the other kids would get up, and they just start, you know, talking about where they’re from, and all that stuff. For me that was getting to know my kids, I wanted to know them at a different level was one interesting thing about you. Well, I had some kids that were fencers in class, what fencing I didn’t know anything, you know, I couldn’t believe that there was kids who were actually into fencing. In my class, it was very interesting for me, I am a person that gets very interested in you, what makes you tick, what makes you who you are. And when I could do that the first day of class, it also showed the kids because I did that I really cared about them, I want to get to know you on a different level, not just as a student teacher, but as a person, I want to know what what makes you happy, what makes what do you do on their free time that your passion that we can talk about some time during class. And that’s what was exciting for me, right? I wanted to know about my players and my my kids that I taught, I wanted to know what made them tick, I wanted to know where they’re coming from. Because every single kid that you coach or teach is from somewhere different in terms of their home life, where they grew up, different things that they go through on a daily basis, they’re all different. And they all have their own story. And isn’t it fun to understand and learn about people’s story, what makes them who they are? That’s so interesting to me, in that shouldn’t be just an education, though, I think that should be in the business world. In the real world. If you’re if I’m a leader in a business, I should get, I should want to know my people, I want to get to know them on a different level. So that when I do need to communicate with them, and I have to do use a different communication style, whatever it might be, I’m better equipped to do that. Because I know them more than just as a boss employee, right? I know them as a coach and a player. That’s that’s how I look, I there’s a big difference between a coach and a boss. A coach is someone that is a people first person that really cares about their people in terms of who they are, where they’re from, where they’re going in all those different things. And we want to see coaches want to see our people progress all the time. Right. So that’s why I wanted to get to know my players at a different level. I always remember young coaches would come in and they would say, they would start getting on a player, you know, in the coach’s office, well, this kid’s not doing this. He’s got a bad attitude. And I won’t always say, hey, stop, you don’t know what’s happening in that kid’s life when he goes home, you know, it might be an alcoholic home. Every night, he goes home. And there might be something that’s a problem there. You know, his parents are teaching them to be selfish, because they they don’t understand it. You don’t know what that kid’s going home to every night. But again, teaching my young coaches, that’s the opportunity you have as a coach, to help them understand what it’s like to be a part of a team, what it’s like to have someone care about what it’s like to do those things. You have the opportunity to do that on a daily basis. How exciting is that?
Speaker 2 38:16
You know, Adam I had. So Coach White, he taught business classes. And I didn’t really have a lot of interest in gone into business classes. And I remember him talking to me when I was a junior in between my sophomore and junior year, and he was coaching us in summer baseball. He was like, I think you should take you know, like business 101 or whatever that intro cognitive class was, it’ll be fun, you’ll like it. He’s like, while I’m teaching it, like you’ll enjoy it, I promise you, you’ll walk out knowing something about business, it’ll be good. And I’m like, Yeah, but I don’t really want to, you know, go into business and all that. And he’s just like a promise you it’ll be good. and Canada way of teaching class, where you learn the content of business, right? And everything that he was delivering, but why it’s important in your life and teaching the emotional intelligence skills or the social emotional learning skills that we now call an education that connected kids not just to the content, not just to the other kids in class, but also to him. And like, he’s won several state championships in baseball, several in football as a football coordinator, and he’d never talked about it. But what’s really cool is all these plaques and awards in letters that he has from kids over the years that have connected to him, you know, he does a podcast in 90% of the podcasts he does are someone who’s a famous country singer because he used to teach him and I used this guy and now he plays for this team and this guy’s gone out and become a lawyer and this guy has written five like it’s phenomenal. The reach that he has had in the reach is also just like buggin with what he tries to do and the skills and being that lifelong learner. And that’s kind of the biggest, best message he has.
Speaker 3 40:13
But you know, I appreciate the kind words I mean, it’s really humbling to hear. But for me it was this is very simple. And I think this should go into business world, in educational world and everything else. I wanted my kids to want to come to class, instead of feel like they have to come to class. I wanted them to say, Oh, I get to go to Mr. White’s class now. So how am I going to do that, I’m going to teach it at a different level, in terms of I care about you. So I would show what I call perspective videos, there’s a guy named, there’s a kid named Adam Bender, who, who lost his leg when he was one years old, had cancer in his leg and amputate his leg and ended up playing baseball, and football and wrestling and all this stuff with one leg, he would literally hit the ball and hop to first base. And sometimes when kids would come into my accounting class, I’m like, Okay, we’re gonna start with this today. And I would show that video to the kids. Why? Because I wanted them to see see the world in different light, right, I want to do them just have a perspective in life, that it could be worse, and that I can do this. And then so, you know, all of a sudden, kids are like, Oh, I wonder what he’s going to do today. Right? You know, and we would get to our county and our kids would learn our county, you know, the greatest thing was when I had kids graduated from college with accounting, and send me an email saying, Thank you, I know, it was just basic accounting, but it really got me started on the right track. And then those are the things that you really, you know, appreciate as a teacher, and as an educator, but just trying to make it different trying to put it on a level of I really do care about you. And I call it the ice statements, the always use the ice statements with kids, how can I help you? What can I do to help you with through this problem, I understand all those different if statements, show a person or show a kid that you really do care about them. And it’s because I did, it’s not because it was fake or anything like that. It’s because I really do care about you as a person when I when I get a call from a kid and, and he just got a promotion or a raise or just got a new job. I just talked to a kid I coached about 20 years ago. And he’s heading up a human resource department for a software company. And we spoke, we sat and talked for an hour and a half about different things like this. And that’s the greatest joy I could ever have.
Adam Salgat 42:31
It sounds like you were giving kids the opportunity to learn a lot in your class, not just learn accounting, but by showing them videos like that you’re giving them the perspective, like you mentioned, and you’re teaching them the power of choice, you’re teaching them the idea that, you know, this, this young man could have went on to do different things, he could have said I can never do this, but he chose to try. And now look at what he’s accomplishing. And hopefully that translated over to them, it sounds like it did for many of your kids. And it sounds like the connections that you’ve made over the years have really paid off. Because if you weren’t connected to them, they wouldn’t be signing up to be on your podcast, they wouldn’t be calling you to talk for an hour and a half. Because
Speaker 3 43:16
it’s really fun. Yeah, it’s enjoyable. And I forgot to mention this my first day of class and also show a video of kids going to school in Africa. It was a video showing kids going into a one one school, a one room school with a dirt floor. And they would have to walk five or 10 Miles barefoot to to school. The old adage, you know, I walked both ways up the hill with in the snow, you know, when our parents used to say, but it’s true in Africa, in some places in Africa, and I would show that, you know, they go to the bathroom, they had to go out to the retreat to get water, they had to walk two miles to a while to get water to bring back to the school. And I tell the kids, you know, you can walk across the hall and get a drink and drink it out anytime you want to. Yeah, you know, you’re sitting here in front of 50 $1,500 computers. You know, it’s a privilege to be here. This is something different when you walk into our, into our school. It’s something different you’re not walking into the mall, you’re not walking, you’re you’re getting to gain as much knowledge as humanly possible here, with all the tools and resources you possibly can look at these kids are dying to go to school. They’re so I wanted them to look at school and wanted them look at their education in a different light is again, it goes back to that opportunity piece. You know, I know probably people have heard this before, but it’s an opportunity or an obligation. What are you looking at schools and opportunity and an obligation? You know, do you look at life as an opportunity or an obligation? And when we start looking at things as an obligation, that’s when we really get down and that’s really when life gets really really hard when things become an obligation
Speaker 2 45:03
So Adam, as we wind down this time that we’ve had with Coach White, which has been a great conversation, love to hear more stories and continue the conversations, I think we’re about ready for our key takeaways for this. But before we do, jump, you’d be so kind to give us a little bit of insight into your podcast series in your website. And I also just kind of want to throw out a book that people are interested in knowing more about what Coach White work is focused on. It’s called the three P’s finding your purpose, perspective and passion. And I know you can find it on your website, as well as on Amazon, can you go ahead and give us your website?
Speaker 3 45:48
Yeah, my website is just coach Joe White consulting.com. And you can get on there and get a hold of me to come speak to your group or work with your group with culture, building leadership, team building, inspirational stuff, motivational stuff, I love doing that love to work with your group. My books on my websites, when you get on my website, it pops up, you click it and get you right to the Amazon, I self published it. You know, I’m not a professional writer. But I felt like I had a lot of things to say after 30 years of teaching and so forth. So that’s really what I want to do now is really go out and speak and work with groups and stuff on on that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 46:28
So key takeaways for today’s conversation and thoughts. I’ll go ahead and be the leadoff batter. Since we’ve been talking baseball, a little baseball terminology on that. My key takeaway, and I think about this often, in conversations that I have with Coach White is just to continue to truly be that lifelong learner. And to understand that I’m not at any peak, I’m not even close to the peak, just keep climbing. So not only to be better for myself, but really to be better for the people in the span of my chair. Adam, what about yours?
Adam Salgat 46:59
It’s something that Joe mentioned about remembering your purpose when he shared his story about getting back into the classroom taking moment when he was going through some tough times about remembering your purpose. And this idea of why am I doing what I’m doing. And just reiterate that myself. So we will have the opportunity to continue to push. What about you, Joe?
Speaker 3 47:24
Well, you know, and to go along a little bit more with that purpose part is just when you’re perfect, just remember this when your purpose is greater than yourself, you’ll find peace. And you’ll find you’ll find happiness in life. For me be honest with you, when I look back at the LCL class that I took with Mike and in the ACL group, the one thing I got out of that was this, learn to listen. So I needed to learn to listen better. And it’s one of the great things about taking that class is it helps you understand listening and at a different level. So learn to listen, so that you can listen to learn, right, because we always want to learn more and more and more. I want to learn more today. So I know more today than I did yesterday. I want to grow more today, so I can be better than I was yesterday. I want to progress more today, so that I can be better than I was yesterday. And the only way to do that really is to learn to listen, learn how to listen better learn how to listen intently, and have reflective listening. So after you’re done listening, I call it listed learn you can list what you’ve listened to listed out and then learn from it. And then listen, when you’re listening to people listen to learn from them. Don’t just listen to them listen to learn something from them because you can get something from everybody that you’re you’re talking to and listening to. So that’s kind of why I do my people progressing podcast is because these people that I’m having on their do that on a daily basis, they’re always progressing in their life, they’re always trying to get better. They’re always trying to learn and grow and progress. And that’s what we want. And the weight of the first way to do that. And the best way to do that is to learn how to listen. To listen and listen to learn.
Speaker 2 49:08
So Adam, you can mark it Joe’s quote, copyright it put it down, learning to listen, so you can listen to learn. Like we got sell that shirt I think?
Adam Salgat 49:20
I think so. top seller
Unknown Speaker 49:23
should make a shirt that says
Speaker 2 49:25
why not? I liked it. Like I wrote it down when you said that.
Adam Salgat 49:29
Well, Joe and Mike, thank you both so much for being on the podcast today. It’s been quite enlightening, and I appreciate you taking the time.
Speaker 3 49:37
Thanks. It was it was awesome being on with you guys. I’m proud of both of you guys for getting out there and helping people when people listen to stuff like this only. The only thing it can do is help them and help them grow. So keep keep keep doing what you’re doing because it’s perfect. It’s awesome.
Speaker 2 49:54
As always, Adam Thank you. It’s always a pleasure to share space with you and It was quite an honor to have you coach and I appreciate all that you’ve done for me and others as well to
Adam Salgat 50:05
engage on our website, explore learning opportunities, and connect with others. This podcast is brought to you by the Chapman foundation for caring communities, which focuses on strengthening relationships, creating connection and building community. Listen, need connect
