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018 – The attitude of gratitude

At the heart of our ability to provide meaningful recognition is the practice and attitude of gratitude. If we are going to be able to incorporate the Our Community Listens vision into our lives and relationships, understanding the value and intent of gratitude is going to be instrumental. Gratitude goes beyond a ‘thank you’ and we are grateful to you are listeners for tuning in.

AI-generated dictation of the podcast audio

Please note that this transcription was completed using AI software.  Occasionally, unanticipated grammatical, syntax, homophones, and other interpretive errors are inadvertently transcribed by the software. Please excuse any errors that have escaped final proofreading.


Adam:

Hello and welcome to the Our Community Listens podcast. With me today is Our Community Listens facilitator, Sarah Weisbarth, how you doing today, Sarah?

Sarah Weisbarth:          

Hey Adam, I’m always glad to be here.

Adam:

So what are we talking about today, Sarah?

Sarah Weisbarth:

Before we get started, Adam, I really just want to say thank you. Thank you for your time and expertise, you really help us produce these podcasts and because of that, we can reach our alumni and others with them.

Adam:

Well, you’re very welcome and I appreciate the opportunity that this has given me to develop new skills and share with the alumni and continue to spread that wonderful I am the message, everybody matters, message.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Truly, we value and appreciate you and we want to share our gratitude and that is actually what we’re going to talk about today. Gratitude.

Adam:

All right. Well, thank you for that lead in, sounds like we’re going to be talking about gratitude today, and I’m intrigued to learn how this practice of gratitude fits into the, Our Community Listens message.

Sarah Weisbarth:

So if I asked you to count how many times you said, “Thank you” today, how would you respond?

Adam:

I said at once to the person who opened the door and that is it. No, I’m sorry. I would say I said, “Thank you” multiple times today and many of them were just, I suppose what you could consider off the cuff or robotic. You just say them and they are what they are.

Sarah Weisbarth:

If you really think about it, you might not have said it as often as you’d like to, or maybe you just said it like it just comes out of your mouth, quick appreciation. And does that thank you really hit at the heart of gratitude?

Adam:

I would think most of the ones I used today, not necessarily. And maybe they not everyone called for it, but not necessarily hit at the heart of gratitude.

Sarah Weisbarth:

We would all agree that you should say thanks when someone does you a favor. When you receive a gift or maybe when a complete stranger takes the time to respond to your questions, such as asking for directions.

Adam:

Or when you warm up your daughter’s milk and you hand it to her and you say, “What do you say?” And she looks at you super sweet and says nothing. That would be a thank you opportunity. Just throwing it out there.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Right, and truly, we teach our young people to be grateful. We want them to say thank you when we’re doing things for them and we do things for people all the time. But how often do we really thank a friend or a colleague maybe for waiting for us when we’re running late to a meeting or for listening to us when we’re stressed and just need to vent or maybe giving a compliment or constructive feedback?

Adam:

I can say that for me, there’s many times where I do say thank you and I don’t really get down to the meat of what it is. I know that it’s part of who I am to want to thank people though, so at times I’ve gotten there, but most of the time not.

Sarah Weisbarth:

We really fall into a bad habit of possibly taking people for granted, or maybe even just not seeing past the initial, thank you and maybe taking their kindness and generosity, what’s behind it, for granted. Taking someone or something for granted means we don’t necessarily recognize or show appreciation for the true value that they’re bringing. So today, we’re going to talk about genuinely saying thank you, showing appreciation and expressing gratitude.

Adam:

All right, well, I’m on board with that to help me understand why it’s important and how it aligns with all of our message at Our Community Listens.

Sarah Weisbarth:

We do recognition as part of our programming. We teach how to do a recognition statement. The gratitude and appreciation that’s behind that recognition, it’s really all the same concept and it does point directly to a piece of our vision that everybody matters. We talk about this right away in the beginning of class, everybody matters. The person that helped you finish the project for work, the clerk in the store, the stranger on the street, that friend that you can always count on, and the family member that might drive you a little crazy. Yes, everybody matters.

This is a very key premise and our vision, so we do teach recognition and at the heart of that recognition is the sense of appreciation that stems out of being grateful.

Adam:

The attitude of gratitude. So we all know that gratitude is important. We encourage youth to be grateful, like you mentioned. We encourage gratitude journals to help us keep track of when we’re thankful for things. There are articles upon articles about gratitude and the benefits it has in our lives but it sounds like what you’re talking about is using that strength of gratitude and sharing it with others.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yes. At the core of our ability to appreciate the value of others and recognize their contribution is the strength of gratitude. If we’re first able to feel grateful for something someone has done or contributed, then we can take that next step and express that appreciation and recognize others.

Adam:

So there’s a benefit to us for practicing gratitude and it starting to sound like there’s a benefit to others when we share it with them?

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yes. You mentioned articles, articles abound on the positive benefits of gratitude. From improved mental and emotional health, increased self-esteem, better relationships and increase capacity to be empathetic.

Adam:

Well, that sounds awesome. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel better, honestly? I see all gratitude could benefit both me and the people I’m sharing it with and I heard that word again in there, empathy.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yeah, empathy. We emphasize the importance of empathy in all that we do with Our Community Listens. Practicing gratitude can improve our ability to be empathetic.

Adam:

So we’re talking about a lot of different things that seem to relate to each other. Can you start to bring it together for me and our listeners?

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yes. When we talk about giving things, we are actually talking about several different concepts. Saying “thank you,” describes a simple, clear act of using the phrase. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks. When we appreciate someone or something, we perform an action. We recognize the value of something we’ve received, maybe it’s the time someone spent with us or their contribution to our life. Appreciation stems from a sense or that attitude of gratitude.

When we show appreciation for something, we’re actually demonstrating our feelings through actions. That’s that recognition part, when we tell others what they have done, that we appreciate and are grateful for.

Adam:

So recognition is a word that I hear a lot in the business sector.

Sarah Weisbarth:

For good reason. Let me share some statistics with you guys quick. A 2017 Gallup report shows that 51% of the workforce is not engaged and 16% are actively disengaged. Really poses the question of, “Well, what’s missing in our workplace cultures that has led to such a low engagement?” Studies are finding that it’s the connection that’s missing. The connection between employees and their leaders. Maybe connections between teams, between people and their colleagues.

This lack of connection is leading to less collaboration, less innovation, a lower level of trust and this low level of engagement. The good news is, companies can actually take active steps to building more interaction and relationships between their people and use practices like appreciation to create a more integrated culture and drive that connection, bring that engagement back into the workplace.

57% of people are dissatisfied with the level of recognition that they receive for doing a good job. There’s this sense, and I think some people could probably resonate honestly with this if they wanted to. You know what? You’re hired to do a job, do the job, do it well, that’s what you’re supposed to be doing. Why should I recognize you for doing your job? The reason is we want our employees to feel satisfied. We want them to be engaged and if 57% are feeling dissatisfied with the level of recognition that they’re receiving for doing a good job, I’m not really thinking they’re going to want to keep doing a good job for their employer.

38% say that they feel unappreciated by their employer and the retention rate goes down if we’re recognizing and appreciating our employees. This is a whomping number, 77% of employees would consider leaving their employer if they are not recognized enough by their employer. That is huge.

And 70% of the employee’s engagement is determined by their direct manager. So this doesn’t have to come from the CEO or the executive director. This level of connection and engagement and recognition can come directly from our leaders that have that direct contact with our employees. Unfortunately, 44% of managers do not know what motivate their employees. We’re seeing changes in this, thank goodness. Global Workforce worked with Cisco using recognition to boost employee engagement and they were able to do that by 5%. And they also worked with Intuit and they received double digit increases in employee engagement over a large employee base that spanned six countries.

And Hershey, who doesn’t like Hershey and chocolate? Their recognition approached helped increase employee satisfaction by 11% and our LinkedIn, the way we stay connected in the business world, in social media, LinkedIn retention rates are 10% higher now for new employees that are recognized four more times. Regularly recognized is increasing our retention rates.

Adam:

So you definitely put a lot of statistics out there, Sarah. But what I’m hearing essentially is that if we don’t recognize people, they don’t care. I mean, it’s that simple. If you don’t take the time to show someone that you care about them, they’re going to care less about you.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Oh, completely Adam. And I mean, I could look at this from a budget standpoint. Like if we look about the amount of employees that are leaving their organization and the cost of rehiring and retraining employees, so there’s a budget side that if we could just keep employees and keep them engaged, that’s going to save on the budget. But also we want people to care about their job, exactly what you said. If I don’t care about the people I work with, if I don’t care about the people that are helping me do my job well, I’m telling you if it were me, let’s just be honest, if it were me, why would I want to keep on doing my job well if I’m not being appreciated or valued.

And I’m not saying it has to be like sunshine and roses and fireworks every time I walk into my office, I just want to feel like what I’m doing is contributing to something important and that I’m valued for that.

Adam:

Absolutely. I am a very similar type of personality and I agree. It doesn’t need to be that WWE wrestler entrance, but it does need to be a high five. It does need to be a fist bump. It does need to be an out of the blue type thing because those make a big, big difference in attitude and the way that you’re connected with the company.

Sarah Weisbarth:

So we’re seeing that there’s a lot of value in this. I think we could make a very strong argument and a very, very strong case for the importance of recognition and the value of appreciation.

Adam:

Okay, so just say, “Thank you,” then.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yes, we can start there. Thank you is easy, but what are we thinking? Not just this passing pat on the back thank you, but maybe it’s, “Thank you for coming. Thank you for writing. Thank you for letting me know. Thank you for those kind words. Thank you for the support. Thank you for taking the time to… ” and you fill in the blank. We can also show a deeper level of appreciation in just our casual comments, much like the ones I just exampled. We can say things, “Well, you don’t have to do that. You’re so thoughtful. You’re generous. I was really touched by that. That means so much. That means a lot. You’ve gone above and beyond.” I mean, what is that? That’s six words. How hard is that? I think honestly, Adam, I say this one to you a lot, I don’t know what I would do without you.

Adam:

I’ve heard it. And I do appreciate it.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Multiple times. It’s like, wow, pulling off a podcast production is not part of my skill set and I don’t know what I would do without you.

Adam:

Well, we do it together.

Sarah Weisbarth:

We do.

Adam:

And, that’s how it goes.

Sarah Weisbarth:

But those things feel good.

Adam:

They do feel good, and another one that you had in there was, “You’re amazing.” And it makes me think, can we get deeper than that? Like what is it if you write a thank you note, if you write, “Your amazing, thank you, Bob.” Well, tell Bob why he’s amazing. What is it that he is doing that’s causing you to feel that he’s amazing. So can you talk a little bit about that?

Sarah Weisbarth:

So getting more to a deeper sense of appreciation and knowing what is the thing that we’re recognizing? What is that you’re amazing pointing to? Bob’s probably going, “I’m totally amazing. I don’t know what I did, but… “

So those things are nice and they’re kind and polite, but we should be consistently sharing positive words like they use in our everyday vocabulary. The true recognition that we’re talking about that really improves the relationship and fosters those connections and improves that engagement has to come from a deeper place of meaning.

Adam:

Okay, so I get the sense that you’re leaning toward a way of making recognition meaningful.

Sarah Weisbarth:

When we want to engage with others and show our gratitude, we have to state the thing that they did that we appreciate. That’s what’s going to make it meaningful. If we can say the behavior. What is the thing that Bob did that was amazing, how we feel about it and the impact that it had on us. I hope this is starting to sound a little familiar.

Adam:

Yeah, it brings up an acronym I’ve heard before.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yes. That feeling behavior and impact.

Adam:

That’s interesting.

Sarah Weisbarth:

FBI. We teach it not only for confrontation, but conversely for appreciation and recognition.

Adam:

All right, so that’s interesting. Can you lean in on that a little more?

Sarah Weisbarth:

With confrontation, we’ve talked about before, where we want to correct a behavior and share the impact that maybe that behavior is having on us and how we feel about it. That’s about correcting behavior. Instead, recognition can be used to reinforce behaviors that we want to continue to see. Recognizing positive behaviors, sharing that impact, can actually foster that connection and that trust and that’ll help us engage with those around us.

Adam:

So is this something that you try to do regularly? And if you do, what do you see happening in the relationships around you when you share appreciation messages like you did with me at the opening of the broadcast?

Sarah Weisbarth:

I’m really glad you asked this, Adam. I hope I do this regularly. I strive to do this regularly and I feel very strong about the benefits of appreciation and recognition and have seen many benefits. One of the areas I work in and serve in is with youth and I find that if I acknowledge even seemingly simple behaviors and identify the feeling and the impact, the sense of value that I see across their face is so worth the intentionality of the appreciation message.

Things like, “When you raise your hand to share your thought with a class, that was really respectful. It helps me make sure that everyone is being heard.” That’s a very regular recognition statement that I would share with the youth that I serve with. I often need tech help when I’m in a classroom and so if I say, “Thank you for helping me with the computer. It allowed me to keep class going without delay. That was very helpful. Thank you.”

And you know, I have a young man at home. Phrases I use with him, “I appreciate the help around the house. It allows us to spend more time together once the work is done.” These are just a few of the examples. I’m telling you, you know how I feel about youth. When you see the look on their face, when they’re sensing that they have done something that’s valuable and it can be something minor, like helping me hook up the computer or running the vacuum and just how they light up and you can just see that they just feel like they’re important when you share those messages with them.

We can even shorten them maybe even to a little bit more like immediate recognition. Instead of having to say a long detail about what the behavior was, you can just say, “That.” You’re essentially referencing the behavior that they just exhibited. So, “That was… ” and then you fill in the blank. Pick a word, respectful, helpful, kind, considerate. Our kids these days need to hear positive words about themselves. Find a behavior and acknowledge it with a positive word.

Adam:

I try to do that with my little one and I know that it’s something that I want to continue. So thank you for the inspiration to continue to do that. I’m excited to try and make that a positive in my life for my little one.

Sarah Weisbarth:

I’m really glad to hear that. You know, again, how I feel about youth, and it seems to be easy to correct or criticize. If we took the same amount of time to acknowledge the good, those moments we appreciate, then we’ll start to find that our youth will feel more valued, have increased self-esteem and start to have more of the behaviors that we really want to appreciate.

Adam:

I can totally see that.

Sarah Weisbarth:

The cool thing is, it’s the same for adults.

Adam:

Oh, well that makes sense, I guess.

Sarah Weisbarth:

And if you remember being a young person, you probably still want to hear positive things now as an adult, as you would have wanted to hear when you were a young person. And if we start to appreciate the adults around us, our family, our friends, our colleagues, the more we point out the things that we value about them, the more they’re going to do the things that we want them to be doing, those things that we value and the more we’ll start to support one another.

If you just seriously does think about it for a moment, are you more likely to do more, go above and beyond, for someone that appreciates you or criticizes you?

Adam:

It definitely leans towards appreciates. You want to do a little extra, you want to be involved with them. Even if it is constructive criticism at times that’s hard to swallow. I think a good level of the two exists in good relationships, whether that’s personal or business, but yeah, you’re right. I definitely do want to do a little more for the person who is expressing why they’re thankful for my work.

Sarah Weisbarth:

We’ll see this often in workplace environments, businesses, organizations, we’re all just trying to do more and accomplish more with fewer resources. And whether those resources are tangible or budget dollars, or even our valuable resources of our employees, we’re just really trying to do more with less. And if we can acknowledge that, and our employees are also doing more with less, it makes it easier for them to want to be part of the team, want to contribute more when they realize that their desire to serve and go above and beyond is valued.

Adam:

So that being said, any suggestions you would have for a business owner or managers or leaders out there who are listening to our cast about how to incorporate that into their workplace?

Sarah Weisbarth:

Studies show, guys, studies show that appreciation and recognition is the way to a more engaged, productive, valued work environment at work and in our personal lives. And let’s just pause here for a moment. We spend a lot of time at work and then you’re going home to a new baby, you have a young child at home. If we want to feel engaged and have that energy to give to our personal lives, if we’re valued at work, we’ll have more to give in our personal lives. And if we’re happy in our personal lives, we’ll have more to give at work.

We spend so much time at work. We have so much opportunity to impact our employees and the people around us, but I’m digressing. So you asked me, are there some specific tips, some specific things that we should do? First, I’m just going to say, this should not be surprising. There are all kinds of articles that point to how to recognize employees. Different articles will say different things. They’ll be generally similar. The ones I particularly like are, be specific.

Employees appreciate being recognized for specific results and behaviors. When they’re rewarded for doing the right thing, it also will benefit that organizational performance. So be specific. We also want to change the environment of recognition, that it shouldn’t always be a top-down. So we should be fostering peer to peer recognition. We should be recognizing our colleagues, interactive within a team. We like receiving kudos from management, that’s nice, and it’s really seen as being politically motivated though. So if we can start to recognize peer to peer and foster that environment, the impact is going to be a lot more meaningful, especially if they don’t have anything to gain. They’re really just acknowledging your efforts and your actions.

The praise that we can also share through recognition, we want to share stories. We want to talk about the employees that are doing something noteworthy. Telling the story is not just about inspiring the engagement for all of those involved, it’s an opportunity for shared learning and inspiration for everyone who hears about it. So be willing to recognize that person specifically and individually and encourage the team to do it together, but spread the word. Have a employee of the month story about recognition. When someone does something great for you, tell others and share what it is that they did, but make it fun.

Most organizations will have some sort of employee recognition program, which is great. We do need to tie the reward to the recognition and it should just really be fun, lighthearted. Maybe there’s almost like a game or a creative process that you can incorporate with recognition to foster the peer to peer and the teams, but make it be fun, make it be fun. And link it to your values. Organizations write vision and mission statements. They write values. There’s a reason why we have them. Link the recognition to the values. It will ensure the relevance and consistency across the organization and employees should always be recognized for the behaviors and decisions that support those values that we’ve stated as an organization and that creates that strong and aligned culture.

Adam:

Those are great examples, Sarah. So let’s recap those a little bit in a quick bullet form. So the first one you mentioned was be specific. So tell them what they’re doing, basically using FBI in a positive manner, correct?

Sarah Weisbarth:

Yep.

Adam:

Foster peer to peer. So working across management, not necessarily from top down.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Correct.

Adam:

Share stories. Don’t be afraid to tell people the good stuff that’s happening and who’s doing it.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Awesome.

Adam:

Make it easy and make it fun, which I am all about. To me, if you’re not having fun, why do it? And then your last one, link to values. From an executive level, I can understand how that is exceptionally important.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Thanks for summarizing that for us, Adam. Again, there’s all kinds of ways to go about doing this. People need to find the one that fits best for them.

Adam:

Is there any more content out there that you could share that you’ve looked at?

Sarah Weisbarth:

We know the Our Community Listen story and how that grows out of the inspiration of Bob Chapman with Barry Wehmiller. Major manufacturing and they’re doing recognition and engaging with their employees, that’s really their vision and their mission that has inspired the, Our Community Listens listening movement. They have a podcast, just like we do, called Truly Human Leadership and they have a blog that goes with it. Bob talks about this topic regularly with his podcast and with his blog and you can also find on the Our Community Listens website, we have some guest blogs in two of our communities, in South Carolina and in Michigan, that have blogged about gratitude. Doing gratitude the Our Community Listens way. All of these are a good read and a good listen directly related to Our Community Listens.

Adam:

We share this episode on SoundCloud we’ll be sure to put those links in the description and if you get the opportunity, check out our Facebook page, we’ll try and share those about the same time this podcast releases, as well.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Excellent.

Adam:

Sarah, thank you for your time. It looks like we’re reaching max capacity for this podcast, but it’s full of a lot of gratitude and I’m very thankful for you. The specific work that you do for me, including putting this structure together, makes us a polished podcast, as opposed to a tornado that it would be without you.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Thank you.

Adam:

You’re welcome.

Sarah Weisbarth:

Thank you.

Adam:

So why don’t you give us just a quick little recap of the takeaways of today’s podcast?

Sarah Weisbarth:

Well, it’s going to be really about that attitude of gratitude, Adam. Sharing appreciation and recognition with others is valuable. It’s valuable to both the giver and the receiver. We could all use that boost to our worth, our value, our self-esteem. So start appreciation messages with everyone around you, from the store clerk to your leader. You can make a difference in someone’s day, even their life with the power of your words, so start today.

Adam:

Awesome, I can do that. And listeners, I think you can do that too. We value your support of our podcast and if you have anything you’d like to share with us or connect with us, you can do so at our Facebook pages or check us out at ourcommunitylistens.org. Thanks for listening and don’t forget, you are [inaudible 00:28:41].

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